Dick and Jane #2
A Short Story by Leanna Harrow
As you probably already know, Dick was an ordinary man with an ordinary house, an ordinary dog and an ordinary wife named Jane. That is, until Jane decided she was tired of her ordinary husband, her ordinary house, her ordinary life and her ordinary dog.
Jane decided she was going to shake things up a bit. She started with the house. She bought new furniture in bright bold colors. She bought abstract paintings. She bought modern art. She then moved on to their ordinary dog. She took him to the doggie salon and got him a hip new hair cut. He kind of looked like a naked lion, with a mane around his neck and a puffy little ball of hair at his tail. Jane was sure Dick was going to be quite surprised when he got home that evening. The changes to the house and the dog were not the only changes Jane had in store for him.
Jane busied herself the rest of that afternoon fixing a lovely dinner for Dick; she thought it might soften the blow of the drastic changes she had made. Besides, she wanted to try out some of the new recipes that she had learned from the cooking shows she had been watching. Jane had been watching lots of new shows. She had been watching shows on cooking, decorating, and how to spice up your sex life.
When Jane heard Dick pull up in the driveway she smoothed her apron which covered her pink lace panties and bra and slipped on the pink 4 inch stilettos there were sitting by the door. As she heard the key in the door, she opened it greeting Dick with a sly smile on her face.
Dick looked his wife up and down and then back up again. Jane slowly turned around giving Dick a full view of her nearly naked backside. When she turned around to face him again, she couldn’t help but notice the same sly smile that was on her face, was now on his.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked.
“There are going to be a lot of changes taking place around here” she replied. Dick’s smile suddenly got wider. He slipped his hand around his wife’s waist and kissed her. It was a long deep passionate kiss. He explored the wet warm confines of her mouth with his tongue making her sigh as he left her lips and went to her neck. As he was nuzzling her neck and kissing it softly the dog ran in and jumped up begging for Dick’s attention.
“My God Jane!” Dick exclaimed. “What have you done to scruffy?” He asked.
“I took the mangy mutt in got him cleaned up!” Jane said defending herself. “He was long overdue for a makeover and I think he looks fabulous” she finished. Dick reached down and patted the dog, shaking his head and wondering what a gotten into his wife.
“I’m afraid to ask what else you’ve done” he said.
“Come,” Jane said. “I’ll show you” she breathed into his ear she took him by the hand and led him into the living room. “Isn’t it magnificent?” She said beaming ear to ear. “No more ordinary for us” she said with a nod. Dick just stood there in stunned silence. Suddenly the timer on the oven went off. “Oh! Dinner’s ready” Jane said as she took her husband by the hand and led to the dining room table. Dick followed her as if in a haze.
Dick sat down as Jane went into the kitchen to get dinner. Whatever it was smelled heavenly. Jane returned with two dishes and went back for two more. It was the first time, in a long time Dick could recall her making a four course meal. He wondered what the special occasion was. Jane served Dick a portion of each dish before serving herself. She sat down and told him how she had learned to make each of the dishes from different cooking show she had seen on television.
She spent the duration of the meal regaling him of the countless hours it took her to prepare the delectable meal. Dick complemented her on everything as it really was delicious and told her how much he appreciated it. He also told her, that the redecorating was nice but it was going to take some getting used to.
After dinner, Jane told Dick she had another surprise for him and that he would need to get undressed for it. Dick could only imagine what this surprise could consist of as he thought back to their experimentation with the body paints but was more than eager to oblige her. Jane told him to strip down to his boxers, go to the bedroom, that she would be there in a few minutes and that she had a few “things” to gather up.
Dick went into the bedroom, turned on the TV and stripped down to his boxer shorts. He hopped up onto the bed remote in hand and waited for Jane. Twenty minutes later, Jane entered the room carrying a soft sided black bag. She looked at Dick, that sly smile still on her face as she laid the bag on the bed.
“What’s all that?” Dick asked.
“Well sweetheart,” Jane began. “I’ve been after you for a while now to get a haircut and shave,” she continued. “For some strange reason, you just won’t go do it. You always say I don’t have time, I have to work late or I’m too tired,” she went on. “So,” she purred. “I’ve been watching a ‘how to show’ on how to give a man’s haircut and shave” she said as she unzipped the soft sided black bag.
“Oh Janie, I don’t know about that” Dick said.
“I do,” she said her sly smile turning a little wicked. “It’ll be fine I promise besides if it’s not you can always go to the barber tomorrow,” she said winking at him. She left the bedroom, went to the dining room and brought back a dining room chair. She put the chair in the bathroom, took Dick by the hand and led him into the bathroom. She patted the seat of the chair. Dick just stood there. She patted the seat of the chair again this time with a pout on her lips. Dick couldn’t resist her when she pouted so he was reluctantly sat in the chair.
Jane removed her apron, heels, panties and bra. Dick smiled. He thought to himself “You might actually like this haircut.” He could feel his cock hardening in his boxers. Jane got a spray bottle of water out from underneath the bathroom sink and lightly wet his hair. She went back into the bedroom and retrieved the black case.
She took the comb and scissors from the soft sided black bag and started cutting. Slowly and methodically she cut his hair. She started at the back and worked her way to the front. She brushed her bare tits against his arms, chest, back and face every chance she got. Every time she rubbed up against him, he would reach up and touch her. Every time he reached up and touched her she would tell him to stop or risk losing an ear.
“Wait,” Dick said when Jane stopped cutting for a moment. “I want to see if this is doing for you what it’s doing for me” he said as he slid his finger across her slit into her warm and wet pussy.
He was pleasantly surprised that his wife was as turned on by this adventure as he was.
“Well of course I am silly, that’s one of the reasons I’m doing it. That and you really did need a hair cut” she said with a wink. Dick continued to stroke her clit as Jane tilted back her head and rode his fingers until she came. Dick removed his fingers and licked her juices from them. He reached up and took one of her tits into his hand and went to guide it into his mouth.
“No sir, we’re not done here. I saved the best part for last” she said as she made the last few cuts to his hair. She walked over to the sink and picked up the straight razor and smiled. Dick’s eyes widened.
“Trust me sweetheart, I’ll be careful” she said as she filled her hand with shaving cream. She walked over, straddled her husband’s lap and proceeded to smear the shaving cream onto his face. Dick closed his eyes as he felt his hard on stiffen to the point of being uncomfortable. Jane placed the cold steel blade against his neck and in one swift motion, made the first cut. When she finished, Dick swallowed hard and sighed a breath of relief.
“See sugar, nothing to it” she said grabbing the towel from the sink and wiping the blade clean. She lightly kissed his lips and smiled at him. Dick couldn’t help but smile back at his wife who now had a small spot of shaving cream on her upper and lower lips. Jane went back to shaving her husband’s face. At one point, Dick thought he’d laugh at the faces she was making while dragging the blade across his face. He wondered if she had learned them from watching him shave or if they were being made unconsciously. Dick reached up and cupped his wife’s tits.
“Are you trying to get your throat slit?” she asked him with a frown on her face? “You should know this takes concentration!” she said with a smile. “It’s very hard to concentrate with you fondling me.” She told him.
“It just feels so fucking good and you’ve got me all worked up. I certainly hope you plan on working me over as well” he told her with a smile slowly creeping across his lips. Jane smiled at him, pushed his hands away from her tits and went back to work.
When she finished the last patch on his face, she took the towel and wiped the remaining shaving cream off of him. She kissed him, deep, hard and passionately. As she did, she reached for his raging hard on. Dick moaned as she wrapped her hand around it. Jane slid back off of Dick’s lap and onto her knees on the floor in front of him.
She licked the tip of his dick with her tongue as she looked up at her husband with a smile on her face. Her smile was met with a smile of his own. Jane slowly took the tip of Dick’s cock into her mouth and sucked on it intently. Dick wrapped his hands in his wife’s hair and guided her deeper onto him. Jane took his not so subtle hint and began sucking him harder and faster.
She’s come up on him, stop at the tip, use her tongue to lick around the tip of his cock, suck the tip of him into her mouth and then go down on him again. She did this repeatedly until she thought he’d cum. She stopped suddenly. She got up off of her knees and took Dick by the hand. She turned on the shower and stepped inside it. Dick followed her willingly.
“We’ve got to wash all that itchy hair off of you” Jane said as she grabbed the loofah sponge and squeezed body wash onto it. Dick took his place under the running water and Jane went to her task of washing him. She started at his neck, made her way down his chest, washed his legs, she had him turn around so she could wash the back of his legs. She washed back, his shoulders and his arms. She took a soapy sponge and drug across his ass making sure to clean within the confines of his crack, as the front of the sponge gently touched his balls.
As Dick rinsed off Jane had him turn around and used the sponge to gently wash his cock and balls. As she gently rubbed them he grew even harder than he was in the chair. Dick could no longer take the teasing anymore, took his wife by the shoulders, turned her around and bent her over. Jane steadied herself on the back wall of the shower as Dick neither slowly nor gently entered her.
Dick fucked her hard, he fucked her deep and he fucked her fast. Jane was so dizzy with euphoria she didn’t care that it had become difficult to steady herself. Dick’s slowed his pumping and long stroked her. Jane came so hard that she shook. Dick used the tip of his cock to stroke her clit and Jane moaned aloud came again. Dick took that as his clue and slipped back inside of her. He fucked her furiously until they both came. He withdrew his member, helped his wife up and grabbed the loofah.
“Now it’s my turn” he said smiling at her. He poured a generous amount of body wash onto the loofah and washed Jane from head to toe. For her sweet spot, he didn’t use the loofah but his hands so that she could have the pleasure of giving her one more orgasm. Dick thought it was the least he could do after all she’s done for him. Dick washed himself off, turned off the water and helped his wife out of the shower.
They took turns drying each other off and Jane went into the bedroom to get into her pajamas while Dick stayed in the bathroom combing his new haircut and checking out the job Jane did shaving him. Dick joined Jane in the bedroom where she was comfortably lying on the bed.
“I have to tell you babe,” he said “you really did a great job. Not just with just the haircut and shave but with dinner and the redecorating. I really love it all” he said smiling ear to ear.
“I did do well didn’t I?” Jane said with a laugh. “I think the living room looks great, dinner was fantastic and I like your haircut better than I do scruffy’s” she said her laughter now becoming hysterical. Dick laughed as he joined his wife on the bed just in time for their favorite TV show. Some ordinary things never change.