ME: I’ve decided I don’t want Poison for my birthday anymore…
Myself: Oh really? What pray tell, do you want now?
I: Oh, I know! I know! She wants cake! Yay!!!
Me: No you idiot, I do not want cake! I wan a hot, young, handsome man to bang the crap out of…for hours!
Myself: *laughs hysterically until she has to gasp for air* Like THAT’S going to happen!
I: Oh shit! You should have NEVER said that to HER!
Me: Oh really? I get told I’m “beautiful,” “sexy,” and propositioned all the time, but the “good girl” in me….YOU Myself…won’t let me take any of them up on it! But, I’ve decided that your goody two shoes approach to life…sucks! I’m going to go out and take life by it’s young, firm balls… literally!
Myself: Okay, wait just a minute…listen to yourself…you are entirely too old to be thinking like this! You have morals and integrity! You can’t do this and I won’t let you…you need to stop acting like a spoiled brat and act like the woman you are and not a common whore!
I: OH SNAP! I can’t believe you said THAT to HER! *covers her ears*
Me: Common whore? There’s nothing common about me…you just wait, watch and see what happens! 😉