Me: Okay, house is clean, dinner is done, presents for the grand baby…what else??? *taps foot*
Myself: May I interject?
I: Awe crap!
Me: I’m busy thinking! My God, can’t you just SHUT UP and let me think! Tommy’s coming home, I have a million things to do and I just need to think! I’ve been running around all day trying to get the house cleaned up, I’ve been to the store, cooked, done laundry and I’m taking five minutes to breathe and see if I’ve forgotten anything! Can’t you just give me FIVE fucking minutes???? Please!!
Myself: Sure I can, take ten if you’d like.
I: Oh shit…this is not going to be good.
Me: Thank you! *sighs and takes a deep breath* Now…where the hell was I?
Myself: I believe you were just about to remember….that you had forgotten to pick him up at the airport dumbass!
I: OH SNAP!