Me: OMFG! Not again! *trying to stifle the tears*
Myself: Why are you crying?
I: I know! I know!
Me: *tears flowing freely now* I’ve told you a thousand times! The dirty clothes go in the fucking clothes hamper! You can’t even pick up the dirty clothes, and look at this desk! Is it too much to ask that you put the pens back in the cup on the desk that is specifically for pens? For God’s sake, why is the bed not made again??? Can’t I get any help from you to other than driving me mad? *wailing now*
Myself: Oh Jesus…is this what menopause is like?
I: No, stupid…she got all her test results back and is fine. There is no reason for this whatsoever!
Me: *wailing turning into sobs* No reason except I’ve spend half my life picking up after men, kids, grandkids and I can’t even get you two to help me keep this tiny little space clean! It makes me crazy that I can’t keep it organized because you two fight me at every turn! All I want is a little organization and you two can’t seem to get your shit together long enough to help me!!!*sobbing subsiding*
Myself: Well, at least she has a reason to cry, or thinks she does…it’s when there is absolutely no reason to cry and she cries that scares me.
I: I know right…creepy
Me: I can hear you dip shit’s! *wailing again*

crying

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