Welcome! Pull up a seat and enjoy a chat with Today’s Tease R. Milton Quibner
ALL MEN MUST READ THIS BOOK…No….REALLY!
Your Name or Pen Name you use: R. Milton Quibner, but please call me Milt
Title of the book you are promoting: How High Should I Jump: The Satirical Guide to Pleasing Today’s Woman, by Seaburn Books, NYC.
Link to purchase your Book: https://www.amazon.com/author/rmiltonquibner
Please also visit my website, HowHighShouldIJump.com, where the book, in Kindle, paperback and audiobook, are available.
Genre: Sexual Satire
Welcome RMQ…I, LH have some questions for you 😉
LH: I wanted to be a ballerina, race car driver and a private detective when I was little. What did you want to be when you grew up?
RMQ: I wanted to be a football player, and actually got my chance in college but, as everybody was bigger, faster and stronger than me, it was not a good idea! Got injured first week of practice and was never the same
LH: I didn’t really have a literary influence, I just decided one day to start writing. Who influenced you in your writing career?
RMQ: While many of the poets of the Classical Era have strongly influenced me, my biggest influence has been the absurdist, Demetrius Toteras, whom I spent over ten years studying the Classics and Theater under.
LH: I self published all of my books and was then “discovered” by a publisher. Are you an Indie or published author?
RMQ: I am a published author. Seaburn Books in New York City publishes my work, though I have nothing against self-publishing and for many, it’s a better option than the so-called ‘traditional route’.
LH: As an Indie Author, I was hesitant about being with a publishing company. If you are an Indie author, would you like to be published by a traditional publisher and if so, why or why not?
RMQ: My agent felt strongly that I needed traditional publishing, especially with the controversial nature of my book, and she looked for quite some time until we found the right match, as I have great support at Seaburn, which also publishes all the Black Book Plus line.
LH: This is easy for me…I’d invite Johnny Depp and I would not discuss movies! Who would you invite to dinner, living or dead, and what one topic would you NOT discuss with them?
RMQ: Well, real easy for me, too, I’d have Socrates over for dinner and we would NOT discuss…well, I doubt there would be any subjects the Old Man would not want to talk about!
LH: I personally think that there is way too much sex and violence everywhere in society these days and it’s everywhere but that Hollywood is one of the biggest contributors. Do you think that society as a whole is subjected to too much sex and violence and are you concerned about it? Ever feel conflicted and if so, why?
RMQ: While we are, indeed, subjected to increasing amounts of sexuality of every description, which IS de-sensitizing us and ultimately means it’ll be harder to get ‘turned on’, there is a positive flip-side to all this and that is the de-mystification of sex, which I think ultimately will take much of the ‘pressure to perform’ away from this very natural act between consenting adults.
Am I conflicted? How can I not be? The beauty of dating is being lost, that long, slow build-up that now is almost non-existent, it’s all about simply hooking up today and much of romance’s mystery has gone with it, too.
LH: I’m a huge softy and by no means a beauty queen… lol but, I truly would want world peace in the blink of an eye if I could make it happen…If you could change one thing in the world, in the blink of an eye, what would it be?
RMQ: Nothing, and I know that may sound odd but I believe this planet, nay, our universe, works in perfect coordination with itself. Despite what we may believe are so many problems plaguing individuals and society, without problems, we would have one very boring existence, and happily, problems beg for solutions and solutions create employment and activity for people, and the cycle continues. That’s why I ignore the concept of Heaven: a place where, as David Byrne says, ‘nothing ever happens’. Doesn’t sound good to me, I prefer the here and now.
LH: With the traditional bookstore becoming obsolete and everyone turning to buying books online, I don’t buy the hype that “the cover is everything”. How important do you think book covers are now that almost all shopping is done online?
RMQ: I won’t say that the cover isn’t important, but I have seen good and poor covers and the sales generally reflect the better covers. I am blessed with a very eye-catching cover that a lot of people react well to.
LH: I can remember wanting to write as a kid. I got a really late start! Have you always wanted to write and when did you start?
RMQ: I didn’t begin writing until my early 20’s, when I would scribble short poems and song lyrics, which led me into recording music and Studio Theater along with radio work. It wasn’t until I met Toteras in the late 80’s that I actually became serious about learning how to write well, and with depth.
LH: I love to see if I can see myself in a character. What interests you most about a story?
RMQ: I am no student of character, to be honest; what matters to me are the principles which the writer employs the thought or theonia in Greek. I do enjoy a finely-developing plot, but again, I’m drawn to works which explore themes, great and small.
LH: For me, I just get hit with this whole movie in my head and start writing. How do you come up with your stories?
RMQ: They tend to come to me, especially when I travel or late at night as I get in bed something will hit me I have to jot down. Or I’ll see some odd movement out in the world, some momentary glimpse which then tells me an entire story, which I then have to madly race to find a pen so I don’t lose the blessed impulse.
LH: I can’t tell you or I’d have to…lol Are you working on anything now?
RMQ: Oh yes, I am outlining my next book, How Low Should I Go: The Satirical Guide to How NOT to Live Your Life, coming in 2014, and I have a reality show and film I’ve taken from Jump which I am currently in discussions with some production people about.
LH: I’m working on #6…5 are published and the other is due out this year… How many books have you written? How many have been published?
RMQ: I have written several, but have only published one. I tend to wait until the work feels more than ready, then I work maniacally. I actually have three more complete works which I will publish in the next few years, perhaps even self-published efforts, who knows.
LH: I write for fun I don’t even dream of riches…Do you write for fun or money?
RMQ: I write because I cannot NOT write, I have much I wish to say in both print and speech, but yes, my ultimate aim is for monetary independence taken my literary efforts, ALTHOUGH I understand the true nature of success is something personal and internal and not measured by how much a book makes in sales or doesn’t.
LH: Some of my family members had a bit of a problem with me writing my first book “A Beautiful Liar” because the character Maggie West is basically me…to a point 😉 They had a problem with the genre and me “putting it all out there” so to speak so I took a pen name. They eventually came around as I have never cared who knows who I am what I’ve done or what they think of me. I’ve never wanted to be famous, just infamous! What has been your biggest problem when it comes to family or friends when writing?
RMQ: Envy, really, is the worst of all emotions and I have not been spared this from friends and family. Nobody really cares when you’re off on your own and the world’s spotlight isn’t on you, but publish a controversial book and watch how your friends/family look at you sideways. Suddenly I’m getting calls and emails from all sorts of ‘old friends’ looking to see if they can profit from their ‘friendship’ with me. If I sound a little cynical, it’s because I have been dealing with several of these ‘dear friends’ who, coincidentally, happen to have manuscripts they’re looking to place! Can’t tell you how many of these ‘friends’ have asked me, “Hey Milt, can I get the name of your agent?”
LH: I have never experienced writers block…I have experienced writers “don’t want to”… Have you ever experienced writers block and if so, how did you overcome it?
RMQ: No, never a problem for me, and I don’t want to sound too damn arrogant but many years ago, under Toteras, I became very disciplined as a student and writer and have carried those daily activities with me. What that means is, I am a note-taker who uses journals daily, so I must write, whether I want to or not. Journals are the best vehicles I’ve found for over-coming so-called ‘writers block’ and I have some very strong words for people who use that excuse for lack of productivity. It really means they haven’t really lived to the point that their experiences are screaming for expression.
LH: I get asked all the time “Do you have any advice for new writers?”… Do you?
RMQ: Yeah, forget writing…for now. Go live, go travel, leave the country and go by yourself to South America, where Life there will restore your faith in humanity. DO NOT GO to writer’s colonies or those terrible writer’s workshops with ‘published authors and real agents’, balderdash and a waste of money. Buy yourself a Strunk and White on Grammar and get a bunch of yellow legal journals and get the hell out of your safe little American existence so that eventually you might have something of value to say. In my view, we have FAR too many home-grown writers here who have not stepped outside their comfortable American frameworks, and really should!
LH: I would not change one thing in my life as I would not be me if I did… If you could go back in time and change one thing in your life, what would it be?
RMQ: Since everything in my life has brought to where I am at today, I suppose I would agree with you, Leah, though since you know my personal situation, there is one particular incident, which I shall not reveal, which is the one and only thing I would change. BUT, I generally don’t engage in speculations, and prefer to live in the here and now.
LH: If I could go back in time and tell someone something, I’d go back and tell the founding fathers they were doing a few things wrong…If you could go back in time and tell someone something, who would you tell and what would you tell them?
RMQ: I might tell the librarians at Alexandria to get ALL of the manuscripts out of the building ’cause the fire-breathing Visigoths are comin’! Damn shame we lost the records from Ur and Atlantis in that fire…
LH: I would freak out if someone contacted me and said they wanted to make one of my books or my series of book into a movie as I am really very shy in person and I’d probably go into hiding. I don’t think I could handle it. How would you handle it? Who would be the first person you told?
RMQ: Oh, I am primed and ready for just that phone call/email, Leah! My wife will be the first one who gets THAT information, as she has stood by me for over 25 years through some serious sh$t, believe me!
Thank you for that thorough and insightful interview RMQ…Now… for the fun stuff!
Favorite Beverage? Filtered water with lemon
Exercise or Bubble Bath? Exercise
Favorite Color? Blues of all shades
Take out or Dine in? Dine in for sure!
Camping or Hotel? Both really but camping.
Sports or Chocolate? Sports!!!
Dogs or Cats? Both, gotta have both!
Favorite Food? Brown rice, black beans, garlic-roasted chicken and tossed salad.
Favorite Song? So many but maybe Tommy Bolin’s Wild Dogs
Favorite Movie? Somewhere in time, with Chris and Jane
Favorite Car? ’66 Corvette Coupe, yellow with black interior.
Sex or Chocolate? (The answer “Both” is totally acceptable 😉 Sex
And now for the essay part of the interview 😉
LH: If you could go anywhere for a week, with anyone you wanted and no one would ever find out about it…where would you go, what would you do and who would you take?
RMQ: I would take my wife, my eternal soul-mate and partner, and we would go to a beach in South America and hold hands before eventually heading back to the hotel, where we would…ah, till it was time to go home!