Tag Archives: funny stories

Me, Myself & I…Working on Book #2

Me: Ah, the Holidays are upon us again! Another huge meal with the family loudly gathered around making me crazy all day. Actually, it will be the entire week!

Myself: May I remind you that the boy will be home, for the first time since he joined the Marines four years ago?

I: I don’t think you need to remind her! In fact, I really wish you hadn’t…

Me: Oh, I’m well aware of that. He’ll have the baby with him too. So that means there will be seven adults and four children, ages two to ten years old running around here that week. Need I remind you that I used up all of my patience when my children were small? It takes all I can muster up to handle the grandchildren for a couple of hours at a time! I don’t know what I’m going to do that week! Then I have to do it all again at Christmas!

Myself: Good thing you have a lock on your bedroom door then isn’t it?

I: That and a stash of chocolate…

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Me, Myself & I…Working on Book 2 ;)

Working on book 2…Get book 1 while it’s on sale!

Me: For the love of God! I cannot take it and there’s still a month to go! Ahhhhhh….
Myself: Now what?
I: *covers her mouth and giggles*
Me: I had to keep from crying when Ashley brought home a Christmas sweater….for one of the CATS!
Myself: Why would she do that? She’s never “dressed” a pet before.
I: *laughing hysterically now*
Me: She excused the cruel and unusual punishment by saying it would keep him from scratching more sore spots on his neck! She knows how I feel about dressing pets! She knew what I’d say and that I’d secretly “undress” him when she wasn’t watching!
Myself: Oh…The humility…for all involved.
I: Where’s the camera? No one’s going to believe this!



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“When one door closes, a window opens and if you’re lucky, there’s a screen on it.” and yes, you may quote me 😉

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Need a Good Laugh?

Congratulations Barbara on your new release!

Get your copy today guys, it’s seriously funny 😉



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Raising Children…

A friend of a friend of mine made a comment about her being able to see the other friend not allowing her children to come into contact with strangers and keeping them locked in the house due to fear.  Long gone are the days of sleeping with your doors unlocked, letting your children roam the streets until the street lights come on and not arming young children with cell phones, alarm equipped backpacks and in some cases, mace.

My response was this:

OMG! You just made me lol…You just described my youngest daughter! When she announced she was thinking about home schooling her son (an only child) I said “Oh, good idea, the world needs another serial killer…” I was so, not kidding as that kid NEEDS and now THRIVES around his peers!

I raised 4 kids, they all went to head start, they all went to public school and they all turned out to be happy, healthy and relatively normal. I say relatively because, well, I am their mother…

They don’t have “crazy, dangerous, child molester or abusive” chips in people that we can scan….yet. You just have to trust that wonderful thing we mothers have that’s called “women’s instinct” and let them go do and be who they are going to be because at some point, you will have no control, no matter what you do and will you’ll have to come to peace with it.

I need to write an instruction manual for child rearing, it would be simple! It would read…

“Congratulations on your new baby! Feed them, wash them, love and cherish them because the rest of it is instinct!” The End

It’s all so true 🙂

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Today’s Tease is BACK! Today’s Tease…Me, Myself & I

Your Name or Pen Name you use:  Leah Marie Stephens, Thompson, Thompson, Turner, Tate aka Leanna Harrow *catching her breath*

Title of the book you are promoting:  My Comedic Debut “Me, Myself & I…The Funny Fights I Have With Me, Myself & Well….I” 

I’ve also penned the books “A Beautiful Liar”~Book 1 of the Maggie West Series, “Maggie’s Men”~Book 2 of the Maggie West Series, “Killing the Desire”,”A Collection of Short Stories by Leanna Harrow from the Fun to the Fearsome” under the nom de plume…Leanna Harrow (She’s the Kinky part of us)

 Link to purchase your Book: We can all be found at…  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=leanna%20harrow

 Genre:  Comedy and Erotica

Welcome er…uh…Me, Myself & I…I, LH have some questions for you 😉

Me, Myself & I: Most days I don’t know my own name…or what to answer to, but, you’ll have to understand…We are all going to provide answers. There is just no other way to do it 😉

I’ll start by explaining what I mean when I say “we” as I am a multi faceted…not a multi personalities person! My mother had me tested 😉

“Me” is the hot headed dominant side of the person that I am.

“Myself” is the level headed rational part of my crazy person.

“I”…well I is the little girl in me that has an ever present sweet tooth.

So lets get this started as this should be fun! I have asked that for this short period of time, they refrain from fighting with each other but, I cannot guarantee anything 😉


LH: I wanted to be a ballerina, race car driver and a private detective when I was little. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Me: I wanted to be a race car driver, tightrope walker or cliff diver…I’m an adrenaline junkie!

Myself: I wanted to be an attorney, detective or a judge.

I: I just wanted to survive those other two!

LH: As an Indie Author, I was hesitant about being with a publishing company. If you are an Indie author, would you like to be published by a traditional publisher and if so, why or why not?

Me: I would never publish with a publishing company again if I were give a 20 million dollar advance! The bullshit that you have to go through, the freedom you give up and the way you’re left helpless is ridiculous I tell you!

Myself: Listen to you! For 20 million you’d blow the 83 year old president of the company! Who are you kidding! Seriously, being and Indie gives you so much more say in what and how you do things that it’s the only way to publish. Leave the big boys to crap like Dr. Phil…

I: Oh Snap!

LH: This is easy for me…I’d invite Johnny Depp and I would not discuss movies! Who would you invite to dinner, living or dead, and what one topic would you NOT discuss with them?

Me: Well, okay, if we want to get serious, Johnny Depp because well, he’s Johnny freaking Depp, Mariska Hargatay because she’s freaking awesome and Ted Bundy. Now, here’s my thinking. I’d have the most amazing actor to look at…the most beautiful, bad ass detective on TV to protect me and the most fascinating serial killer to probe…and there would definitely be some serious probing going on *wicked evil grin* and we would not discuss what took place at that dinner…I know, I’m just not right.

Myself: No, you’re not right! You’re a twisted freak! I’m so glad you’re not allowed to talk back to us today! I would invite Angelina Jolie and not discuss sex or politics.

I: I would invite Nancy Drew and not discuss the Hardy Boys *makes a God awful face*

LH: I personally think that there is way too much sex and violence everywhere in society these days and that Hollywood is one of the biggest offenders. It’s kind of ironic as we’re in the business of selling sex and violence. Ever feel conflicted?

Me: Hmmm conflicted…Of course! It’s not only Hollywood, it’s the media in general but it’s also called parental control. We, as parents, don’t have a lot of control anymore. My parents made us go outside and play. My grandmother would make me go out and cut my own switch for a whipping! No need to say, I was a good little girl *wink* No TV, computers, tablets and cell phones all damn day. We lost parental control when we weren’t allowed to spank our kids and make them go outside and play anymore. *can just hear it now…as she laughs out loud* Ironic isn’t it?

Myself: I knew it was childhood issues! Yes it’s conflicting. I think that’s why we throw comedy in there…try to balance it out. Sex and violence are part of life but there is such a thing as too much…

I: You have no idea…

LH: I’m a huge softy and by no means a beauty queen… lol but, I truly would want world peace in the blink of an eye if I could make it happen…If you could change one thing in the world, in the blink of an eye, what would it be?

ME: I’d have to go with stiffer punishments for heinous crimes…You have a confession and/or DNA…you’re done. Cut off a hand, they won’t steal. Cut off a penis, they won’t rape. Put them to death, people won’t be so quick to kill…no more 10 years of appeals and 10 years on death row…zap..it’s done. Think of how many billions we’d save…not to mention lives, children, peoples belongings and their dignity.

Myself: Holy crap! You are so extreme, good thing I’m around…I’d have to say legalize marijuana and use it stalks for the tens of thousands of household products it’s good for. Our founding fathers did it…

I: I’d want cookies…Chips-Ahoy please!

LH: I can remember wanting to write as a kid. I got a really late start! Have you always wanted to write and when did you start?

Me: I have been writing since I was little…I used to write on paper, the refrigerator and the walls…once in poo…or so I was told…

Myself: You would…Jesus! Yes, infact, while cleaning out a box of pictures and mementos the other day, I found a poem I had written to my mother when I was in the second grade. I don’t remember writing it, but for being so young, it was pretty good 😉

I: I’d rather sing…*grimaces as she recalls she can’t carry a tune in a bucket*

LH: I love to see if I can see myself in a character. What interests you most about a story?

Me: I want to not be able to put it down. I want to be spellbound. I rarely find that anymore. I can’t even recall the last book that “did it” for me. That’s really sad.

Myself: I have to see myself in the main character. I also must like the plot. I like to be left with the “I so did not see that coming!” feeling.

I: I like strong, funny characters. The funnier the better. Helps deal with those two and their constant bitching!

LH: I write for fun I don’t even dream of riches…Do you write for fun or money?

Me: I write to shut the other two up…they make it impossible to even think sometimes but when I put on the headphones and get into the “zone”…I can’t hear them!

Myself: I do it for fun…nothing better than reading the finished product 😉

I: I do it because they let me have cake when we’re done!

LH: Some of my family members had a bit of a problem with me writing my first book “A Beautiful Liar” because the character Maggie West is basically me…to a point 😉 They had a problem with the genre and me “putting it all out there” so to speak so I took a pen name. They eventually came around as I have never cared who knows who I am what I’ve done or what they think of me. I’ve never wanted to be famous, just infamous! What has been your biggest problem when it comes to family or friends when writing?

Me: Fuck em if they don’t like it!

Myself: Sweet Lord! I’d expect that from her…I told my daughter that if her friends judged her for my past…they were never her friends to begin with. It’s really very simple. If someone is there for your struggles, you keep them around for your success.

I: True dat

LH: I have never experienced writers block…I have experienced writers “don’t want to”… Have you ever experienced writers block and if so, how did you overcome it?

Me: OMG…That’s a good one…”Writers don’t want to” I love that…that’s exactly what we get…and we get over it, when we get over it.

Myself: You just walk away. It’s like a fight. You can go over it and over it and over it. It’s not going to change until you go about it another way. Sometimes that way is to just walk off and come back to it later.

I: I just do what they tell me to…

LH: I would not change one thing in my life as I would not be me if I did… If you could go back in time and change one thing in your life, what would it be?

Me: I truly believe that if I had not walked every single step of the path that is my life, I would not be who and where I am today and I like this place I call my life…I would not change one second..Not one crazy, happy, sad, angry, wild, scary, abusive, destructive, joyous, amazing second… I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Myself: Amen to that…especially the crazy part…

I: I’d ask for more cookies 😉

LH: If I could go back in time and tell someone something, I’d go back and tell the founding fathers they were doing a few things wrong…If you could go back in time and tell someone something, who would you tell and what would you tell them?

Me: I’d go back and tell the first guy I slept with to go fuck himself…

Myself: I’d love to see that! I’d go back and tell the first guy I slept with that he sucked…

I: I would go back and tell the people at Hostess to fill Twinkies with chocolate cream filling…

LH: I would freak out if I got a phone call saying they were turning one of my books into a movie as I’m actually painfully shy. What would you do?

Me: I’d send a text to my kids telling them I’d send them a forwarding address and disappear…

Myself: As if…We’d buy a house on the Central Coast of California with a pool table and indoor pool where we’d spend our days swimming, honing our billiards skills and watch the sun sink into the Pacific each evening…

I: Yeah..what Myself said…and we’d take the kids with us!

Just for you guys…Cause you’re special 😉

Turn on’s?


Honesty: I’d rather hurt and be hurt with the truth than a lie any day

Exotic looking men: Came into that late in life but WOWZA

Certain smells: Scented candles, coffee, some aftershave…I’m the one you’ll find in those aisles just standing there with my eyes closed inhaling…*sighs just thinking about it now*


A sense of humor: I love to laugh

Honesty: I detest liars

Scents: I’m with me in the coffee aisle…


Random acts of Kindness: They just melt my heart!

Foreign Men: OMG! Love accents!

Sweets: Smother me in chocolate and I’m yours…

Turn off’s?


Liars: Been there, done that and wrote a book on it 😉

Judgmental people: That’s not our job in this life

Organized Religion: I have lots of  issues 😉


Liars: See above

Certain smells: I know…it makes no sense lol

Cruelty: There’s no reason for it


Racism: There’s no reason for that either

Liars: See above

Peas: OMG…I don’t even like to see them!

Thanks for that crazy and insightful interview…Now… for the fun stuff!

Favorite Beverage? Me: Sweet Iced Tea Myself: Sweet Iced Tea I: Sweet Iced Tea

Exercise or Bubble Bath? Me: Super Hot Shower  Myself: That wasn’t an option!  I: Oh Snap!

Favorite Color? Me: Any Shade of blue…Myself: Ditto I: Me too!

Take out or Dine in? Me: Dine in Myself: Dine in I: Take out

Camping or Hotel? Me: Hotel! Myself:  Hotel! I:  I go where they take me…

Sports or Chocolate? Me: Is chocolate eating a sport? Myself: If not it should be…I: It’s most certainly chocolate 😉

Dogs or Cats? Me: Neither…Myself: Hater! I: Here kitty, kitty, kitty

Favorite Food? Me: Alice Springs Chicken from the Outback Myself: Oh yes…Alice Springs Chicken! I: Is chocolate considered a food?

Favorite Song? Me: Holy Shit! That’s like asking me to pick my favorite child! It’s an impossible question to answer! This week it’s “Slut Like You” by Pink…next week it’ll be something else! Myself: She’s right it’s rough but my all time favorite is “New Kids In Town” by The Eagles I: “Natalie” by Bruno Mars…I just love me some Bruno Mars 😉

Favorite Movie? Me: A Fish Called Wanda Myself: The Note Book I: Razing Arizona

Favorite Car? Me: 65-67 Ford Mustang Shelby GT’s Myself: Oh yes…65-67 Ford Mustang Shelby GT’s I: Yessss 65-67 Ford Mustang Shelby GT’s!!

Sex or Chocolate? (The answer “Both” is totally acceptable 😉 Well duh…BOTH 😉 preferably with sex before, during and after 😉

All authors may not be crazy but there is now proof that I am 😉 Now for the essay part of the interview 😉

LH: If you could go anywhere for a week, with anyone you wanted and no one would ever find out about it…where would you go, what would you do and who would you take?

Me: I would go to Greece, find me some Greek God’s to do wonderfully wicked things to until they dropped…

Myself: I would take my friend, who is a paraplegic, up in a helicopter, and I’d take him places he’ll never be able to see. We’d stay in places that he’d never go on his own and we’d have a blast!

I: I would go to Disneyland for a whole week and leave those two at home!

Thank you for spending this time with us and make sure to get your copies of

Me, Myself & I…Funny Fights I Have With Me, Myself and Well…I

Killing the Desire

A Beautiful Liar~Book One of the Maggie West Series

Maggie’s Men  

A Collection of Short Stories by Leanna Harrow from the Fun to the Fearsome


Maggie’s Misery coming in November 2013

at my Amazon.com Authors Page…or by clicking on any of the books below!




"Killing The Desire" Cover Art

FINAL A Beautiful Liar Cover_200x300_dpi72

SS Book Cover



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My comedic debut…

Me, Myself & I…Funny Fights I have with Me, Myself and Well…I 

is available in ebook and paperback!

Just click on the pic 😉

MeMyselfandI_72You can even get your copy autographed if you just ask me how 😉


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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Fuck Political Correctness! I’m so over it! You can’t say “Merry Christmas” for the fear of offending someone…Certain swear words are cut out of movies they put on TV for fear of offending someone…But, they can blow people up in movies, use the “N” word in every other song on the radio and make movies based on the worst literature ever written like “50 Shades of…” I can’t even finish the name of it without wanting to vomit! You can’t even think jack shit anymore without the fear of offending someone! You don’t like it? Don’t read it, don’t watch it, don’t listen to it!
Myself: What’s got you so worked up today?
I: I know! I know!
Me: I’m sick of seeing stupid shows on TV like “Naked and Afraid” where you can watch some bare assed old man and woman running around in the jungle, or Honey Boo Boo, or Nancy Grace telling America everyone suspected of a crime is guilty until proven innocent (WTF?) and causing a circus…We have stations cram garbage down our throats 24/7 on channels like OWN, Lifetime, and BET but they want to chop up movies that we originally paid $15 in the theatres to see the violence, sex and swearing in…Movies that are hysterically funny, full of action or are seriously sexy that have now been chopped up so that the swear words have been voiced over with “Friggin or Gosh Danged”, the sex has been eliminated but most of the violence is still there???…That is offensive to me! Seriously?/! I want to start my own channel…I’m going to call it “WET”…How about that?
Myself: You want to start a war? Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would be on you in a heartbeat!
I: Oh Snap!
Me: That’s because simple minds think alike! It stands for the “Wicked Entertainment Television” dumb ass!
Myself: Well played…

older woman hot guy

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Oh My God! My grandkids say the damndest things! *laughing hysterically*
Myself: You are just not right..
I: Hey…They think she’s funny!
Me: Did you see the look on their mothers faces? Priceless!
Myself: When your 6 year old grand daughter announces she doesn’t’ like your new haircut because it “makes you look like a boy”…the appropriate answer is not to point to your DD boobs and say “When was the last time you saw a boy with these?”
I: You have to admit it was rather comical…but, not as funny as when she looked over at her 6 year old grandson, after being scolded by his mother, and said “Got your back Jack, bitches be crazy”…

Tommy's Trip 5-13 022


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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Wow…You guys have been awfully quiet lately…
Myself: That’s because you’ve been busy writing. You’ve allowed yourself to accept a deadline for an anthology and it’s quickly approaching!
I: *Shrieks* She never accepts deadlines! *Looks around for a corner to quietly cry in*
Me: I’ve got this.
Myself: Until the editor gets a hold of it…
I: *Gasps again* Oh Snap!


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