Tag Archives: Me Myself &I

My Love/Hate Relationship with Amazon….

I hate that after numerous calls to Amazon they still can’t get a retired title of my author’s page but…

I LOVE that they got the ebook for “Me, Myself & I…Funny Fights I Have With Me, Myself & Well…I” available within 24 hours of it’s release!

Click the pic to get your copy now!

MeMyselfandI_72

Don’t forget…Maggie’s Men~Book 2 of the Maggie West Series will be released on 8-8-13!

Get your copy of Book 1~A Beautiful Liar now!

FINAL A Beautiful Liar Cover_200x300_dpi72

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It’s….ALIVE!

My comedic debut…

Me, Myself & I…Funny Fights I have with Me, Myself and Well…I 

is available in ebook and paperback!

Just click on the pic 😉

MeMyselfandI_72You can even get your copy autographed if you just ask me how 😉

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Fuck Political Correctness! I’m so over it! You can’t say “Merry Christmas” for the fear of offending someone…Certain swear words are cut out of movies they put on TV for fear of offending someone…But, they can blow people up in movies, use the “N” word in every other song on the radio and make movies based on the worst literature ever written like “50 Shades of…” I can’t even finish the name of it without wanting to vomit! You can’t even think jack shit anymore without the fear of offending someone! You don’t like it? Don’t read it, don’t watch it, don’t listen to it!
Myself: What’s got you so worked up today?
I: I know! I know!
Me: I’m sick of seeing stupid shows on TV like “Naked and Afraid” where you can watch some bare assed old man and woman running around in the jungle, or Honey Boo Boo, or Nancy Grace telling America everyone suspected of a crime is guilty until proven innocent (WTF?) and causing a circus…We have stations cram garbage down our throats 24/7 on channels like OWN, Lifetime, and BET but they want to chop up movies that we originally paid $15 in the theatres to see the violence, sex and swearing in…Movies that are hysterically funny, full of action or are seriously sexy that have now been chopped up so that the swear words have been voiced over with “Friggin or Gosh Danged”, the sex has been eliminated but most of the violence is still there???…That is offensive to me! Seriously?/! I want to start my own channel…I’m going to call it “WET”…How about that?
Myself: You want to start a war? Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would be on you in a heartbeat!
I: Oh Snap!
Me: That’s because simple minds think alike! It stands for the “Wicked Entertainment Television” dumb ass!
Myself: Well played…

older woman hot guy

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Oh My God! My grandkids say the damndest things! *laughing hysterically*
Myself: You are just not right..
I: Hey…They think she’s funny!
Me: Did you see the look on their mothers faces? Priceless!
Myself: When your 6 year old grand daughter announces she doesn’t’ like your new haircut because it “makes you look like a boy”…the appropriate answer is not to point to your DD boobs and say “When was the last time you saw a boy with these?”
I: You have to admit it was rather comical…but, not as funny as when she looked over at her 6 year old grandson, after being scolded by his mother, and said “Got your back Jack, bitches be crazy”…

Tommy's Trip 5-13 022

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Wow…You guys have been awfully quiet lately…
Myself: That’s because you’ve been busy writing. You’ve allowed yourself to accept a deadline for an anthology and it’s quickly approaching!
I: *Shrieks* She never accepts deadlines! *Looks around for a corner to quietly cry in*
Me: I’ve got this.
Myself: Until the editor gets a hold of it…
I: *Gasps again* Oh Snap!

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Awe Shit…How did I get “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” Stuck in my head? How they hell did they come up with E-I-E-I-O anyway?
Myself: Because G-I-G-I-Joe didn’t fit?
I: Bwahahah Good one!

GI Joe

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Man, what’s with all the flies and mosquitoes? Seriously!
Myself: Well…It is summer…
I: Oh Snap!
Me: Duh dip shit, I know that, but they are as thick as molasses and the mosquitoes are as big as my hand! It’s seriously disturbing.
Myself: That’s because of all the rain…You know it was an unusually wet June here…
I: Uh oh…double Snap! *waiting for the bomb to drop over the mention of rain!*
Me: Well played…

flies & mosquitos

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