Tag Archives: random quotes

Me, Myself & I…

Me: Those jackasses on FB only think they can silence me!
Myself: What have you done now?
I: She went all ninja on their asses!
Me: No, I simply made my own page where my friends and I can post whatever we want, promoting whatever we want, whenever we want. Censor me my ass!
Myself: Well, you know it will just be a matter of time before they find out and shut you down or throw you in FB jail…again.
I: Do we have any cookies?
Me: I dare them…I’ll write another dirty letter calling them Nazi’s and screaming about my First Amendment rights and then I’ll crop back up someplace else…like a bad weed, with all my friends in tow…fuck the fuckin fuckers!
Myself: That’s nice…such a lady.
I: Oh Snap…You did NOT just call her a lady! Yay…I found the cookies!

cho chip cookies

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: I cannot believe that I’ve had my MySpace page shut down for violating their terms of service. They didn’t even tell me what I’d done to have my page shut down permanently! What the fuck is going on in this world when you can’t freely express your views, opinions and creative talent? I am so pissed off I could scream!
Myself: Well please don’t do that, I have a headache.
I: Yeah, me too…you have been ranting to anyone who’ll listen all day and my head is about to split open.
Me: Well it’s because I’m sick of these Nazi’s telling me what I can say, how I can say it and when I can say it! When did America become a Communist country? Hell, Communist countries have more freedoms than we do nowadays…It’s just SO sick of it! Does this look like the face of someone you can silence unless it’s with a bullet?
Myself: Well, if I know you, and I do, you won’t be off there for long, you’ll be back up and running in no time…
I: You got that right…you can’t keep her quiet unless it’s with duct tape…oooooh…duct tape! *giggling*

my pics 4-17-13 015

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: My God what a last couple of days!
Myself: Yeah they have been kind of brutal…
I: I know…why don’t we have some chocolate cake, that will help!
Me: No, chocolate cake is not going to help anything. We need rest.
Myself: We do, but you’ve got so much to do. You need to finish that research project, you are three chapters behind on the book you’ve got a deadline on, your Today’s Tease folder is a mess. I could go on for hours…
I: She will go on for hours as soon as you lay down to go to sleep you know…
Me: I know, there’s only one way to shut her up so she’ll let me sleep…
Myself: You don’t play fair. Every time I start reminding you of what you need to do, you threaten me with that, that thing!…It’s just not right.
I: Yes it is, it’s the only way to get real, deep, undisturbed sleep! It’s the most beautiful sleep we get! She should do it every night just to shut you up!
Me: Well, if you didn’t wait until it was 1 am to remind me of everything I have to do and I got more done in a day…I wouldn’t have to break out the heavy artillery…
Myself: Who are you kidding…you love “the heavy artillery”
I: Oh God…I know I love it…break him out! You could break him out 4 times a day and never hear one complaint from me…DO IT…DO IT…DO IT!! *clapping as she sees me going after B.O.B.*

woman biting lips

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Oh man…
Myself: Now what?
I: This is going to be good!
Me: I need something but I don’t know exactly what it is…
Myself: Food? Water? Sleep?
I: Cake? Please let it be cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
Me: No, For God’s sake…it’s not cake…It’s more than just cake…I need a day off. A real day off…no kids, no grand kids, no computer, no phone…no technology at all! A spa day perhaps…
Myself: Oh, now that would be nice but you need to think bigger.
I: Can we have cake afterwards?
Me: No! Jesus…what is it with you and sweets all of a sudden? You want to gain back that 100 pounds? Shit woman!
Myself: Seriously, you and that mouth! There is nothing wrong with splurging once in a while, you hardly eat as it is. You really should take better care of yourself and you need more than just a “spa day” Might I suggest you get up, have breakfast, go get a mani-pedi, have a nice long massage…a minimum of 2 hours, have a nice lunch somewhere and then catch that movie you’ve been wanting to see? Then go play some pool and then perhaps…a late dinner?
I: Then…cake! OH…and…B.O.B!!
Me: Mmmmm…That does sound like the perfect day…
Myself: Do it…you owe it to yourself!
I: Just promise…CAKE! Don’t forget the cake!

cookiesandcake

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Jesus…These things are going to drive me crazy! They lose my keys…they want money…they want me to baby sit…they always want something! It’s no wonder I talk to myself…
Myself: “These things” are your children. They have wanted things from you for twenty eight years now. I’d think you’d be used to it by now…
I: Hey…you forgot me…You talk to me too ya know!
Me: I know…and now there’s a whole new generation of “things” to want from me…They want toys and movies and cookies!
Myself: Yes and you wouldn’t want it any other way!
I: Oh, cookies…I want cookies!

Tommy's Trip 5-13 022The Next Generation of “Things” 😉

 

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Me, Myself & I…

Me: Well: The boys gone again…
Myself: Why do you call him that? You’re always calling him that…”the boy”…it drives me crazy!
I: *whispers* It’s what her daddy used to call him because he was the first boy…
Me: I can hear you dip shit
Myself: Again with the swearing?
I: *whispering again* It’s what her daddy used to call her…
Me: I can still hear you dip shit!
Myself: I know you’re upset about him leaving but it’s not going to do you any good to be ugly to us. Besides, he’ll be back home, for good, in November…
I: *mumbles* Oh great, call her names and then try to reason with her…
Me: That does not comfort me. It’s like watching a part of your heart walk away each time he leaves. Do you have any idea how hard that is? Watching him go and not know if he’ll ever be back for sure, just hoping, praying and waiting for the day he will? Do you have any idea?
Myself: Of course I do…dip shit
I: Well played!

Marines

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Random Thought….

If everyone loved everyone else….the world would be somewhere  no one ever wanted to leave…

Can you imagine for one minute, what that place would be like?

I can…it’s called Heaven…

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