Me: Aw Jeeze….My makeup is all smeared!
Myself: Your nose is all red and your eyes are all puffy too.
I: Oh Snap…you never know when to keep your mouth shut do you?
Me: Well, obviously I needed a good cry. Sometimes I just gotta do what I gotta do.
Myself: Well, you’re worrying me.
I: Like I said…I only get creeped out when she has no reason to cry. *shudders*
Me: Well, now that that’s over, how about cake?
Myself: That explains everything…it’s that time of the month again isn’t it?
I: She said we can have cake…who cares!
Me: No you bitch…it’s not that time of the month, I just feel like having cake, am I not entitled? Do I not deserve to treat myself once in awhile? *can hear I begging not to let Myself screw up the cake part* If I want cake, I’ll have cake! *hears I let out a short, loud cheer*
Myself: I didn’t say anything about you not having cake…I just wondered if it was “that time” and if we should be on the defensive…
I: OH GOD WOMAN…Shut up for the love of God!
Me: If I want you on the defensive…I’ll tell you to get on it!
Myself: Point taken…
I: Can we please have cake?
Me: I think we’ll have Key Lime Pie
Myself: Good call
I: I don’t care what it is as long as it’s sweet *as she squeals with delight*
Tag Archives: random thought
Me: Aw Jeeze….My makeup is all smeared!
Me: Jesus! I can’t believe today! A 3 hour doctors appointment, dead battery when I came out, left my cell at home so I didn’t have anyone’s numbers and to top it off…one of the kids had my jumper cables!
Myself: Well, if you hadn’t been in such a hurry when you were leaving the house, you might not have forgotten your cell phone…
I: Oh snap! That was not a smart thing to say to her *shaking her head*
Me: Oh really…well, you’re supposed to be so smart and grounded, why didn’t you remind me to grab my phone? Or to turn the lights off when I got out of the car at the doctors office? Or to stop by and pick up my jumper cables on the way to the doctors office since we were passing right by Amanda‘s? Hmmm? Why?
Myself: Am I responsible for reminding you to do everything? Do you not have the capability of making a list or setting a reminder or maybe carrying phone numbers in your purse? You’re not a complete idiot are you?
I: Awe shit, here we go again…
Me: What the hell good are you two if you’re not for helping out around here? All you do is drive me crazy! You keep me awake, you bitch and moan and you don’t really contribute anything at all now that I think about it!
Myself: Oh really? Without us…you’d be nothing…
I: *Thinks about it for a second and says* Hey, yeah, she’s right…without us, you’d be…screwed! *breaks out in a big smile at the thought*
Me: Oh, My, GOD! Did you see that? I don’t fucking believe it!
Myself: She’s never going to stop swearing!
I: I told you that but you never listen to me! *Sticks her tongue out*
Me: Hey…look…I still can’t believe it! I saw it with my own two eyes and it’s just amazing! I can’t believe it!
Myself: What on earth are you talking about?
I: Maybe she saw Elvis…or Jimmy Hoffa. She might have seen one of them!
Myself: No dip shit, she couldn’t have seen one of them…they’re dead!
I: You don’t know that for sure *sticking her tongue out again*
Me: Okay, house is clean, dinner is done, presents for the grand baby…what else??? *taps foot*
Myself: May I interject?
I: Awe crap!
Me: I’m busy thinking! My God, can’t you just SHUT UP and let me think! Tommy’s coming home, I have a million things to do and I just need to think! I’ve been running around all day trying to get the house cleaned up, I’ve been to the store, cooked, done laundry and I’m taking five minutes to breathe and see if I’ve forgotten anything! Can’t you just give me FIVE fucking minutes???? Please!!
Myself: Sure I can, take ten if you’d like.
I: Oh shit…this is not going to be good.
Me: Thank you! *sighs and takes a deep breath* Now…where the hell was I?
Myself: I believe you were just about to remember….that you had forgotten to pick him up at the airport dumbass!
I: OH SNAP!
Myself: What’s she doing?
I: I…I think she’s..she’s humming!
Myself: She’s what?
I: Oh My God! Seriously…are you going to start repeating yourself again? I said…she’s HUMMING!
Myself: What’s that smell????
I: Wait! I know that smell!
Myself: So do I! It’s Poison!
I: * shrieks*
Myself: The perfume you idiot! Wait…What’s that she’s eating???
I: Oh…the perfume…Wait…she’s eating???
Myself: For crying out loud, what do you do all day? Sit around trying to stay inside the lines with your coloring crayons? YES she’s eating! She’s eating CAKE!
I: I WANT CAKE!
Myself: We don’t need CAKE!!
I: Wait! When did We get here?
Me: OMG! I can’t even enjoy one day a year with you two around 😉
If random acts of kindness make the giver and the receiver feel good…why don’t people do them every day?
With the New Year fast approaching…
I hope this year was a good one
I hope the next year is better
I wish for Peace, Joy and Forgiveness in my own life as well as
I wish for Health, Wealth and Happiness in the lives of all of you…
Not necessarily in that order 😉